As hypnotherapists, we know that language is important, and the way we use it in our suggestions and metaphors are often debated in social media groups, supervision and training. However, the conversational part of the session is equally (if not more) important. It’s where we see the client’s own interpretation of their situation, where we have to opportunity to observe their para language and non-verbal cues and where we can decide which therapeutic approaches are going to suit them best.
In the Hypnotherapist’s Companion, I talk about clients who are very chatty – how to decide what’s relevant when you’re overwhelmed with information, the problems it can cause with your time management, and how to resolve them. This time I’m going to look at the other end of the scale, clients who seem reluctant to talk to you at all.
How to encourage clients to chat more
- Manage the client’s expectations. Be clear about what will happen in a session and dispel any worries or myths the client arrived with. Sometimes, clients assume hypnotherapists will put them straight into trance and begin issuing orders as soon as they arrive, a bit like a stage act.
- Improve rapport by adapting your communication style to fit the client – this might include mirroring not just their posture or language patterns but their energy levels to avoid being seen as too overwhelming, or too uncommunicative.
- Use non-verbal encouragement such as nods and smiles to encourage the client to speak. Most people will step in with a comment if a silence goes on for too long, without you needing to ask a question at all.
- Don’t be afraid of leaving silence so the client can process a question you asked. See my article on silence in therapy HERE.
- Discuss confidentiality, and its limits, so the client feels safe sharing with you.
- Clients may have shared their problems with others in the past and found that people are judgemental or dismissive. Reassure them that you are not going to be either of these things.
- Be patient, don’t expect to get all the information you need in the first session with every client. Some clients take a while to share all their thoughts. There is nothing wrong with coming back to a question later.
- Ease your way in – build a peaceful place and ask about the client’s hobbies and interests. Not only does this build confidence and rapport, but it’s also often easier to talk about than the issue that brought them to you.
- Consider using a diagnostic trance. Some clients find it easier to answer questions about what’s bothering them if they are relaxed and focused.
- Answer a question yourself. Most therapists don’t offer unsolicited advice or opinions, but a forced-choice question can be useful at times. This is a question that suggests several possible answers and then lets the client choose one of them or create one of their own.
- Ask something unexpected like “What do you think about that picture on the wall?” This can have a similar effect to “breaking the state” in NLP work. It provides a sudden change of context and a neutral emotional response to separate the client from whatever was preventing them from communicating.
- Realise that talking about feelings and thoughts is something you do every day. It might be a new experience for your client. Consider using an emotion wheel or working content-free if the client continues to find it difficult to decide on the right words.
Hypnotherapy is not just about what happens in a trance. It’s also about the conversations that you share throughout the session.
Every word the client uses can be a guide to providing effective therapy, using the right metaphors and suggestions, and achieving the change that your client has asked for. So let me know how these ideas work for you and, if you have other tips, post them below.
----------------------------
Author: Debbie Waller is an experienced hypnotherapist and hypnotherapy trainer. She is the author of Anxiety to Calm: a Practical Guide to a Laid-Back Life, The Hypnotherapist's Companion, Their Worlds, Your Words, and The Metaphor Toolbox, all available from Amazon or direct from the author, and a co-writer of the Hypnotherapy Handbook.
Find out more about Debbie's services on
Yorkshire Hypnotherapy Training - multi-accredited hypnotherapy practitioner training, taster days and foundation levels.
CPD Expert - accredited CPD and other therapy training (online and workshops options), expert and qualified hypnotherapy supervision
Comments
Post a Comment